just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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