i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize