I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
