So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
