using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
