i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
