That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
