i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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