Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
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