At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I want her autograph on my taint
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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