He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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