I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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