Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
