It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
