I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
please come you make the beer taste better
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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