i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
