you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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