you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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