so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
