did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
