Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Who died my cat blue again?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize