He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
