So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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