Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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