This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
