Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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