I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
