so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
