please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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