My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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