it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize