i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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