Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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