She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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