But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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