I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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