He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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