I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
