I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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