I think im going to throw up on grandma
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
