Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
