I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize