I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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