upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
