Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
