He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
