and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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