I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
