i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
