I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
