every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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