I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
