Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
