White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
