you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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