Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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