Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
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So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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