if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize